Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them:
"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people In a Quattro."
"Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.
"Quattro is just ze name of ze fokken automobile" the Germans say unbelievingly. "Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designedto karry funf Persons."
"You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs officer."Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people ina your car and youare thereforea breaking da law."
The German driver replies angrily,
"You idiot! Call your supervisorover. I vant to speak to somevone viz more Intelligence!"
"Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busywitta 2 Guys in a Fiat Uno."

Tech Support

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied"
message Every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his username and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

Cool Ads

Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: {pause} "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."
Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies.
"I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!"
"You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn." The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder.
"I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!"
"Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you."
Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies.
"Your right, he is unshakable!" The third English man said:
"No,no, no, I will really piss him off, you just watch." The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said...
"I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!"
"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."